When you lose a baby at any point during your pregnancy, your world is turned upside down and the path ahead of you feels impossible to navigate. How do you honor the life that could have been if you’ve lost your baby? How do you move forward when every step feels heavy? And how do you tell others that this beautiful child never had the chance to live? With so many questions and so many emotions, keep one thing in mind — do it your way.
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What Is The Right Way To Handle A Loss?
There are many ways to handle a loss. Everyone grieves differently and there is no right or wrong way. The best thing you can do is just make sure you are feeling what you are feeling.
If you feel sad, allow yourself to cry, if you feel angry, properly express that anger and if you feel guilty, remember it wasn’t your fault.
There is no easy fix-all answer because each situation is unique, but honoring the lost baby will mean different things for different people.
What would be most helpful for one person may not help another so listen to yourself and honor your own process when trying to honor your loss.
What Can I Actually Do?
There is no right way to honor miscarriage because every couple handles their loss differently.
The best thing you can do is create your own method of remembrance. Some couples choose to hold a small funeral or memorial service for their lost baby; others like to keep things more personal and low-key, by giving away mementos or writing letters that they’ll never send.
Wherever you draw inspiration from, you must remember that honoring your baby is not about saying goodbye forever—it’s about honoring what was and remembering what could have been.
Ways To Physically Honor The Loss
Now, more than ever, you may want to do something to recognize what has happened.
There are several things you can do that are not only beautiful but very meaningful and will keep your baby in your thoughts.
For example, getting an angel tattoo or creating a keepsake box with some of your baby’s belongings. Alternatively, consider planting a tree or flower garden in honor of your lost child. But whatever you choose to do (even if it’s nothing at all), be sure it feels right for you.
There’s no wrong way to honor what is undoubtedly one of life’s biggest losses. As you go through this with your spouse, lean on each other and create a safe space to be vulnerable about your feelings.
Gifts are always thoughtful whether it’s a floral arrangement or a sympathy gift from Laurelbox, be mindful of each other while you go through this tough time together.
When Can I Start Talking About My Child And Their Life Again?
You might feel that it’s best to keep your child’s life, and death, private. But remember that there are people around you who have been affected by your loss just as much as you.
They want to know what happened. Just because it’s difficult for you doesn’t mean that honoring their memory will be difficult for them.
Find out when they want to talk about him or her and how they want to honor his or her life; then share your child with them in ways that make sense for everyone involved.
For some people, talking about their child is cathartic; others may find comfort in making sure their child is never forgotten.
Have Faith In Yourself And Keep Going
Everyone deals with loss differently. One way that many people honor their loss is by keeping something—even if it’s just a small token—that belonged to their baby.
This might be something as simple as tying one of your child’s hair ribbons she never got to wear to your keychain or carrying the blanket he never used in your purse.
A lot of parents like to be open about their stories and talk about their feelings about what happened with other mothers who have lost children so they can support each other through shared experiences.
If you’ve had a miscarriage and are wondering what you can do to honor your loss, try some of these ideas. They won’t take away your grief, but they may bring comfort to you or others around you.
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